Unsettled

I was recently accepted to YWAM Salem in Oregon as a missionary.  Just this week I got a train ticket and had a final date set for when I am leaving Sheboygan, WI.  I already feel the unsettled-ness awakening within me as I am preparing to leave yet another "home".

It’s hard to feel that unsettled-ness again.  I was enjoying so much having that security in not having anything laid out for a departure.  It's not easy not having a "home".

Thinking about the bigger picture, I know I will at some point be done with my time here on earth and I know that I will not be falling into darkness, but rather awakening into light, PRAISE GOD!  And I will be there forever.  I won’t have to feel unsettled anymore, for the rest of eternity.  But while I’m here and while Jesus hasn't returned yet, I need to be willing to give that up for him, because his kingdom is much more important.  It’s easy to get down or get distracted by all that stuff though. 

Talking about this is such an encouragement to me because it reminds me that it’s all going to be worth it in the end.  It get’s my focus off of the immediate things I want and onto the incredible, immeasurable gifts that Jesus has promised for those who do seek him out with all their heart,listen to his words, and do what he says within whatever part of the world they live.

I don’t ever want to forget how worth it giving up everything for God’s kingdom is, yet it’s one of the easiest things to forget.  Being a human, I oftentimes pray that he reminds me of that in his grace.

If God is putting on my heart to constantly be moving to places without a real home for the sake of his kingdom how sad would it be to compromise eternity in heaven to have an earthly home for 60 years?  If God is putting on my heart to not worry about my 401k how sad would it be to be so focused on it that I compromise God’s eternal 401k?

Seeking God with everything and doing what he says is worth it.  He has a different path for each of us, and the first step we must take is to let go of our own idea of what the path should look like – or what our culture says the path should look like – and to SEEK that God would humble us and help us to trust and walk in the path that he says it should look like no matter how weird, uncomfortable, or scary it is.

This short clip of Francis Chan encourages me.

Riding my bike allows me to move more slowly in life and enjoy seeing things I normally wouldn't, like a line of little children paying no attention to their teacher's request to jump "over" the puddle instead of in it, a high school boy hitting a girl with a snowball, or several people walking their dogs.  These little things bring me a lot of joy.

One morning
I rode
my bike to
the lake area
and saw this
fishing
boat
resting by
the dock.
It looked so peaceful.



On Valentines Day
I was given this
little owl created
by a woman who
goes to my church.
Probable the best
Valentines candy I have
ever seen in my life.


I was at Salvation Army
the other day
and found
this one piece
snow suit.
 I didn't buy it,
but I had to
try it on
for fun.
It almost fit.



I go for walks every
now and again
around the block
when I need a break.
One particular day
I saw this really
cool shadow cast on
the side of a church.

Since I have arrived
in Sheboygan
I have been
unbeatable at
Scrabble,
except for a friend's
grandma.
She and I
are now one for
one.  We need a
tie breaker  : )

In January I participated in a 21-day
Daniel fast - also known as a Vegan
fast. Most of the church community
was involved (fasting in various ways).
It was meant to encourage a deeper
dedication to God and to help form
better habits and vision as we enter into
the year 2012.  It definitely did the job.
 

There was construction planned
to be happening in my first home,
and since I'm going to be here at least
until June we decided it best for me to
move to a new home.  Luckily I was
invited to move in with a great couple
who has already had three boys, and lives
in the same area just a few blocks away.


I am getting to know the new
neighbors just a bit.  Here's
one of them hanging out
in the front yard.  He doesn't
like to be around people
very much, but I do see him
more regularly than the other
neighbors.



I have been teaching
five Inductive Bible
Study classes over
the past six weeks
or so.  Thought I'd show you
the classroom and
at least some
of the students.


They all leave
with a whole new
perspective on the
Bible and
hungry to dig
deeper into it.
It's been fun to
teach these classes.

Perfect Timing

When I returned in January I didn't have a car, so I was biking everywhere (and really enjoying it by the way : ). I was seriously praying about buying a car though. One Sunday a guy came up to me and said he wanted to get together.  That next Saturday I sat there and listened to him tell me that two days before he was unexpectedly offered a new job, he accepted it, he would be moving in three weeks, and he was getting a new car (basically his whole life changed). He then told me "Last night God put on my heart to just give my car away to someone." I sat there thinking to myself, "No way God. No way." 

I asked him if God put anyone on his heart. He said, "I have no idea." I told him my situation and that he shouldn't feel obligated to give me his car, but to give it to whoever God puts on his heart. The next day, Sunday, he said, "Joel. We need to talk. God confirmed it last night as I was praying. The car is yours." I couldn't believe it.

Sunday Service 

“Listening to Joel's sermon today was truly multidimensional.  I found it impossible to not feel his passion, sincerity and utter joy in giving and serving.  He was gentle in his manner, yet unmistakably bold in his statements.  Please share this with him.  Leading by serving is what I feel the disciples were a pure example of.  You, Amy and Joel embody what leading with a pure heart looks like.” - an e-mail to Pastor Bob

I am excited to hear that people are responding with open hearts.  We are continuing to pray for guidance as we share God’s vision for the church to be a place where every believer is equipped and prepared by the leaders to minister God’s love and grace within their community.

The church I am a part of has been doing a 21-day fast for January.  There are a lot of good stories that have come out of this fast, some pretty incredible transformation.  But that's not what hit me this week.  I was hit by how much God cared about me fulfilling the commitments I make to him, and how easy it was for me to be casual about my commitments.

It came out when I was recalling a story I heard earlier that week about someone who compromised their fast with the though, "God understands."  As it came out I actually started to cry.  I could feel the sadness that God had in his heart regarding that attitude.  I remember saying, "He loves us so much.  How can we say that our commitments to God don't matter, just because he understands?" 

I had stopped praying during the fast, and God was showing me that within my own heart the fast had become religious.  That was why it was so easy for me to write off my commitment.

I have returned to prayer and have been asking for God's grace to be my strength and to humble me to live in light of how much he has shown his love for us.  And to live this beyond the fast.

Lately, when I am tempted to compromise my commitment to God, a certain song continues to come to mind: "How Deep the Father's Love for Us."